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Lana feelsThe current mood of xengirl at www.imood.com

The third shoe has officially dropped. Nobody but Bri is going to understand the logic of the third shoe for a bit, but that's okay. It's kind of a cross between "all things come in threes" and "waiting for the second shoe to drop" except there's three shoes. So anyway.

The first shoe was Pasang's mother. Pasang is my roommate, and while we were on fall trip for three days last week, her mother died. She's from Nepal, and it's very sad, and she's gone now and won't be back for a long time. It's incredibly awful cause she's a wonderful person and a real sweetheart and she's so far away from home and it's just so wrong. I can't, and won't, say much about that yet though cause there's really nothing to say.

The second shoe is a little more complicated, especially since I'm now updating this a couple days after the first part and things have changed. But the long and the short of it is, I think I'm falling in love with my new best friend. See, I was under the foolish assumption that I could be good friends with somebody I find extremely attractive and very intelligent and all of that, and it would be fine. Really! Just fine! Except it didn't work out very well. Everything was going relatively well until she agreed to go out with this guy that she really thought she liked. Well, they went out for two days, didn't even kiss, and she didn't like him as much as she thought and she came to me when she wanted to end it and I was touched and happy. But while they were going out, every time I saw him touch her, I wanted to scream. All I actually did was avoid them when they were together, but it wasn't fun. And so that's a problem. And I ALWAYS fucking do this, and it's SO not fair.

Actually, the third shoe was part of the second shoe. The part where she came to me when she wanted to break up with Ben, and I was all overjoyously happy. Not that I let her see that. That wouldn't have been nice, or helpful in any way. And I'm very good at looking like I'm not feeling what I am, or like I am feeling what I'm not. There was supposed to be more about the second shoe, some background about us, but I'm bored with the topic now so I'm done.

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