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Lana feelsThe current mood of xengirl at www.imood.com

We watched Alice and Wonderland Saturday night. We being Lila and I and Lera. The three pagans, one clean dorm head and two, well, not, watching what has got to be the trippiest movie ever. Lila had been on all sorts of craziness earlier, though fortunately nothing halucinogenic, and she was being funny. It was interesting.

I've realized something. Nothing is really as serious as it seems at the time when it comes to relationships. I don't necessarily mean romantic relationships, but just relationships in general. You can go for weeks thinking that you're falling head over heels for someone, and then one night you're walking back from play practice and you realize that it's really not that big of a deal. Yes, you like them a lot. Yes, you've got a wonderful friendship started, and yes, you care for them because of that. And yes, if the chance came up, you might have a tendency to misbehave. But, you realize, you're not going to worry about making the chance come up because it's just not that important. It's realizing the difference between loving someone and caring them with a healthy dose of lust. And you breathe a sigh of relief in the cold Colorado winter air, and then you laugh, and then your lungs hurt because the air is too cold for such things. And then you spend the rest of the walk back to the dorm planning how you're going to get the guy you really really like to go out for coffee, and how your meeting with that friend of Chesca's is going to work out because you think you will go after all. And then you're happy. And life goes on.

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