Lana feels

Happy New Year, everybody! I just spent the first new years in 6 years away from my Amesy. Sad. And I didn't even get laid. Probably could have, as it turns out, but didn't. See, I spent the night at my friend Rani's house, and then this morning we were talking about the people we liked, as per always, and after my going on and on and on, and on, about Lila, David, Josh, and Lila, and Lila, and some more about Lila, Rani says there are two people she likes. This guy she knows that I don't know, and one other she's not going to tell me. So I start guessing. Half an hour later, I finally figure out that, hey, guess what, it's me! Uh, yeah. So I spend the rest of the morning telling her I'm flattered and everything and I don't mind and now everything's okay again. BUT WHAT THE HELL?! It turns out this has been going on in my supposedly homophobic friend's mind since the second week of fucking freshman year! How the hell did I miss this? I mean, I'm not THAT stupid, am I? Please don't answer that... I mean, throughout all the time I'm going over my sexuality and figuring out that it's not what was previously assumed, she's got a crush. On ME! Who the hell has a crush on me? That's just not normal. It doesn't happen. I'm not crush material. To anyone. Ever. It's abnormal. And how did I NOT see it? I'm confused, I really am.