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10:26 p.m.

Lana feelsThe current mood of xengirl at www.imood.com

I don't know everything. In fact, a lot of the time, I don't know very much at all. I'm just kind of good at faking it. Sometimes I wonder if people know that. All the people who come to me with their problems asking me for advice. I don't know if they know that I don't know much at all. I'm always glad to listen, and I give an awful lot of advice and wise counsel, but I think much of the time I don't know what I'm talking about at all. I guess it generally works, or at least, it works enough that they keep coming back. Works enough that they don't remember the times it doesn't. I wonder how that is, sometimes. How it is that these things work out. They work for me, they work for my friends, these things I pull out of my ass and make shiny. Maybe the real answer is just, Life isn't as complicated as we make it seem. Anybody, even me, can solve it's dilemmas when they look at it from the right angle. Maybe that's what I've got so good at doing, under the name of being a wise little owl with wise owl counsel. Looking at things from the right angle. I don't know. I don't know why it matters, but somehow it does. It matters to me, lately, that I'm good at this, this business of being the wise owlly therapy girl, when I really have no right to be. I find myself wondering if it ties in with the way that I can sense things. Random, intuitive, often important things. Nobody ever understands it, at first they tend to be freaked out by it, but I just know things. I say it as a joke, but it's not, much of the time. I just know. Things that nobody ever told me, that I never overheard. I know them. I sense them. I like that. My intuition, my ESP, whatever you want to call it, I enjoy it. I kind of think that may be what it is that people call the wise look. It's not the years beyond my years of experience behind me, because really, there aren't any. I mean, yeah, sure, I've been through some shit. Some weird shit, some bad shit, some really scary shit at times. I've spent a bunch of time, since I can remember, listening to other people's problems. Maybe that's helped. So maybe that's what it is. A combination of things, of intuition, of vicarious experience, of my ability to pull things out of the air and present them well. Who knows. I don't. 'Cause, remember? I don't know much of anything.

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