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1:49 p.m.

Lana feelsThe current mood of xengirl at www.imood.com

I feel better. Which is odd, considering that the second major thing I did today was to go to the dentist for two hours of cavity fillings on my most sensitive teeth. Generally, I'd have nitrous, since I don't do well with Novicaine, but my dentist is pregnant, so there was none of that. I scared the shit out of my poor doctor, because it really hurt and I make frightful faces and she's a gentle soul. So that just wasn't fun. But then, I biked to Caribou and got a blueberry muffin, some coffee, and some chocolate-covered espresso beans, curled up in a big chair with the comics and had my breakfast. I still want to go for my long introspective bike ride/writing expedition, but I'm waiting for the sun to decide if it's going to come out or let the rain clouds do their thing. I may wait for later afternoon anyway, that being my preferred living time. Tonight, I will sleep. Tomorrow, I will pack. I am not happy about the dorm switch. I am irrationally scared that this is going to be the end, or at least the distancing, of some friendships I've come to value intensely, but at least I'm aware that it's an irrational fear. I have, however, come far enough this year to be able to deal with it, to not let it become too much. And that will have to be enough. My next dilemma? How to make my hair retain the black dye I keep staining it with. Nobody else can ever get black to come out of their hair when they dye it. I can't get it to stay. I'm seriously considering just chopping it (my hair, that is) off at the chin once the natural part gets that long. I've never had hair that short. It could be disastrous, but I may try it anyway. After all, hair grows.

I find myself wondering how much of this swingy moods business has to do with hormones and periods and menstruation. My dentist today said that you have a lower pain threshold when you're on your period. Which could be one reason these damn cavities hurt so much today. But these moods are evidently made for swinging, and that's just what they're doing. Swinging all over me.

You can't fight gravity on a planet that insists, love is like falling and falling is like this... - Ani Difranco

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