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7:29 p.m.

Lana feelsThe current mood of xengirl at www.imood.com

Okay. I just read my guestbook. Wherein there are several entries concerning what I wrote on Tuesday. Or Wednesday. Or whenever it was. And let it be said, that you're right. That it was heartless, and cruel, and that I wasn't thinking. What I was thinking ran something along the lines of, maybe this will help. That's why I was giddy. Not because parents of people I knew were dead. Not because anybody was dead. Because I was hoping it would change things. Hoping it would help. I still do. I still hope that this will change the way America deals with the countries of the world. I hope that this will make us more understanding in our foreign policy, now that two of the country's most powerful cities have been struck. I hope that we will, as a country, realize once again that it is impossible to isolate ourselves from the rest of the globe. Impossible to pack ourselves in white styrofoam popcorn and hide from the bad things that happen. Because any of you. All of you, that criticise what I wrote that day. Have read in the paper, or heard on the news, "US bombs foreign embassy, foreign hospital, foreign anything, thousands dead and injured." And have said, oh, that sucks, then gone about your daily lives. I grieve for those killed that day. Just as I grieve for those killed when the US bombs another country. Or when the UN decides that it's too risky or expensive to somebody to send troups or medicines or other aid to a country in need of it, be they democratic or communist or struggling over which they will be, and people die, of hunger and AIDS and war. I grieve for them as I grieve for the people of the City In Which I Grew Up. I did a ritual Thursday night for all these dead. I know, and knew, people who worked in those towers. And to anybody who lost a son, daughter, brother, sister, mother, father, uncle, aunt, husband, wife, friend, lover, or enemy in that blast, I offer my most sincere condolences and I really am sorry for your loss. But I will not stop saying, and will not stop feeling, that if this brings a change to the way the world operates, then it was worth it. And if I am a heartless bitch for that, if I have lost friends over that, then I'm sorry for that as well. Sorry that you are too narrow-minded and coldhearted to see beyond the losses of your own country, and sorry that you only grieve for those of your nationality. And sorry to lose you as a friend, because there has been enough loss already.

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