Lana feels

I have nothing to say. Panda's being bratty. Cesca and Jessica are worrying me, and I'm not sure how to help. There are predictions of demise for Sarah and I don't know what to do about that either. I want to help, I want to get Cesca out of her house and into my dorm for a week cause I think that would be good for her. I want to have my herbs so that I could make Jessica stop being sick. Just want to help, mostly. Lila's right, in a way, when she says that I always want people to come to me with their problems. It's true, simply because I'm good at listening and because I care. Because I love that they trust me. Mostly because I care, and by listening I can help, in my quiet way. She was just wrong when she said that that was all I wanted. Mostly I just want friends, want hugs and love and intimacy. Mm... Random thoughts. I've been writing a lot lately, to the demise of my schoolwork but oh well, because it needs doing. And I think I may be all caught up by the end of the term and I'll do all right on exams. Mostly I need to do my homework and sleep, and take care of those I love, and the two I'm beginning to. Making new friends is the best feeling. Having people you don't know deeply come to you and just talk, spill, tell. Real, deep, trusting conversation. It's wonderful and Friday it happened twice, with two different people. It's of the good.