Lana feels

I went to the gay ski week festival in Aspen today. Brought Cesca and Megan. I adore Cesca, but we knew that, and I'm growing increasingly fond of Megan. I think it's mutual. I may have lost a few really good friends this year but I've gained at least one, and I'm beginning to know who in my new dorm are friends and who are just people I live with. It's kind of confusing, sometimes, just because they all know each other already, but I'm getting there. Sometime I'm going to have to write a really long entry about Amanda-who-is-no-longer-The-Bear. Because. She is no longer my Bear. But I can't do it here or now because I don't want to be sad, I've had a good day, and that will make me sad. It also made me do something else, which I think Ces has figured out and of which I am not proud. After more than a year, twice in the last month. It gets easier. With me nobody can tell. I'm not starting again. But sometimes it's too hard.