Lana feels

I want to see a diary with the three optional fields - I'm kind of debating trying it with mine but I don't know where I'd put them. I have latex powder ground into my skin from the gloves we use in biology. Funny looking. Dissection - giving new meaning to the phrase "I want to feel you from the inside." I'm going to ace biology. I'm going to be a biologist. Lada said to me in an e-mail the other day that she never pictured me getting interested in science or biology. Makes sense - the last time we went to school together I was busy C & D'ing my way through earth science. Freshman year I failed basic biology. And yet, here I am, in and acing one of the hardest courses our school offers, and loving it. Loving the challenge, and loving the material. I think this depression thing is going away - part of me feels bad for not feeling worse about this whole thing with Amanda, but I've learned to deal and now I'm dealing. Whatever is going on with her, I can't fix it. I should've realized that a long time ago. If and when she gets over herself, I'll be here, but I've cried over it with Cesca and I threw a very sedate temper tantrum with Megan and I've talked it over from every possible angle with everybody from Cesca to Megan to Shaina to Satomi, plus lots of un-detailed ranting to the girls in my dorm, and I'm really not that upset about it anymore. I miss the friendship we had back in the beginning of the year, but since January things have been getting less and less fun. Now things have come to a head, and either they'll get better or they'll just disappear, and I refuse to worry about it. It's her deal. Let her work it out.