Lana feels

I'm invincible, so are you, we do all the things they say we can't do...(Ani) Ye gods I'm terrified. First class in 20 minutes. Why does this scare me so much? I've already met most of the kids, I've done two years of biology and I aced the final exam of the equivalent to a college-level biology course, why does this make me nervous? I think it's because there is part of me that does not quite trust Chris, because I do not quite trust myself. There is a voice that says that the course he taught us could not really have been college biology because that voice does not believe that I am capable of such things. My heart hurts. There are butterflies in my veins. I should not have drank so much coffee this morning.

Grr. This will all be all right. I have taken AP Bio. Some of the other students in this course have only taken basic biology. I will not possibly be the slowest one. I will do my lab notebooks. I will ask the professor how such things are done, or the other students. I will figure it out, I will make up for 4 years of nothing. That time is two years gone now. I've pulled out of it. I am not that person anymore. I am friendly, I am likeable, I will smile and talk in class. I'm going to go chant to myself and practice deep breathing. Ye gods.