Lana feels

I haven't updated in forever. Okay. Since Friday. But that's forever for me. I have all this stuff to say but I can't quite bring myself to put it all into words. Stuff about Cesca and how wonderful it was to see her and how much I love her and miss her and the many marvels of having a best friend. Stuff that I don't want to say about how much I'm going to miss her next year, and about how different it's going to be without her or the Bear. A lot of stuff about next year, actually, though if there's one lesson I should have learned by now it's not to pin too many expectations on the future, because something always throws in a twist. I have no words. Too many words but none of them in the way that I want them to be. I'm going to go do my laundry and try again tomorrow.