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11:31 a.m.

Lana feelsThe current mood of xengirl at www.imood.com

Today is the first day of classes - yesterday we had convocation. Lots of long dull Menke speechifying, wonderful heartfelt speech from Mia, funny speech from Han-sol, honest speech from Spaff. Then George Webber and Lynn Pulford, the glowing newlyweds of campus, got up in front of everyone and the music began and by the end of their last song I was nearly crying. Crying for the fact that AG now gives sideways hugs, crying for the joy of being back, for the prospect of graduation in the spring, for the idea of being a senior at a high school that is really, truly a home... Crying because I know I have to leave in 9 months and that I won't see these freshmen outgrow the gawky awkwardness of being the youngest, newest class, and because it just hit me suddenly last night how much this place and these people mean to me. Megan's mischievous looks and hugs and our inside joke laughter. Elly's self-awareness and constant analysis of the world around us. Playing faeries under the tree outside the barfork with Jessica, the way we laugh and talk and she understands how it was with Panda. Eating oranges and telling stories and laughing with Josh, who is more like me than I ever thought any guy could be. I don't know when we got so close but I really love it, and him. Shannon and the lighthearted flirting that she and Megan and I do whenever we find ourselves together. Mindfuck with the straight world is so much fun. Pekay and his smiles, the way he reminds me to drink water and eat my vegetables. Chris, Heather, AG, even the teachers I've never really interacted with. It all means so much to me, and the song Lynn sang last night missed the rational filter altogether and went straight to my heart and my tear ducts. I'm so glad to be home.

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