Lana feels

Life is good. I am a senior, I have a wonderful class schedule, my own lovely and highly personalized room, teachers of the sort I've been waiting all my life to learn from... I'm getting my work done, keeping my room clean, spending time with my friends and avoiding my family. There are only two things wrong in my life right now. I miss Ceca. I don't know where she is, AOL won't let me have anything to do with her emails, and I want to see her. I want to hammock with her, or wander around chattering about Ani and Tori Amos and the power of women with her. I want her to see that I've dug up every picture of her that I have and stuck them to my walls. I want to give her/let her see the pictures I took (and finally got back!) from spring break when we buzzed her head. I want to snuggle and burble and do the best friends thing that we do so well. Much as I love Josh and Jessica, and everybody here, they play different roles in my life than she does. She is, as I've said so often in this forum, my best friend. So I have to brave the telephone.

And as for the other thing... Let it rest at, I'm still a coward and I'm still waiting. Dammit.