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8:48 a.m.

Lana feelsThe current mood of xengirl at www.imood.com

It figures that the only time he would have to talk to me would be on Halloween. I still have issues with the fact that I have to make an appointment two weeks in advance to talk to the headmaster of my 170-person boarding school, especially about something this important, though when I saw his appointment book today it made more sense. He's a busy man. How he finds the time to micromanage I will never understand. So I talked to his secretary, because he is in Asia, and set up an appointment to talk to him on Halloween just after psychology. The irony of life is just too much, sometimes.

As I was walking back from setting up this appointment, I found myself thinking about transitions and changes and becoming. How it is that I've become who I am. We went to Java Joes for psych class on Tuesday, because most of the class was in PSATs, and talked about consciousness and how it is that we have an innate feeling for the continuity of time. Evidently, there's a system in the brain that is responsible for it. Maybe mine malfunctions more than most people's. Walking, thinking, I sometimes step back and watch my life for a while. Today, for instance, as of 8:43 AM, I had been more adult than child, and in a moment out of time it struck me and made me think. Made me wonder again about this process of becoming. Taking care of a sick dormling, going to class, managing applications, organizing rehearsals for the play, setting up an appointment with Andrew to talk about Ces, emailing my mother about Christmas break plans with that same Cesca, doing my psych homework. Penciling things into my little appointment book. Things are going so smoothly this year. Slowly, at times, but smoothly. I'm really starting to feel like I might be ready for higher academia, and perhaps even for real life, and I'm not quite sure when or how that happened. I'm ready for us to be done with anatomy of the brain - I want to study consciousness.

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