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7:36 p.m.

Lana feelsThe current mood of xengirl at www.imood.com

Voom. Swoosh. Skidddddddddd. Tumble. Roll, rise, swoosh. Swoop swoosh shoulders in line board flat catwalk sweeeeeeeee. Speed, momentum, joy. I can't believe I went fifteen years before I ever experienced this. This magnification of everything that occurs when I can quiet my mind and concentrate with my muscles on speed and the rush of moving fast, rhythmically, down down across and back but ever down. Power over my world that comes mostly from accepting my lack of power. Control that comes from accepting how little control I really have, and enjoying the hell out of it until I finally, timelessly, reach the lift and then it's up and swinging back to the top to do it all again. My face red and my nose running and my soul is flying, soaring, ebuliant, jubilant, and today I screamed because I couldn't manage to keep it all inside. The snow's choppy, my board needs tuning, but there is so much other-than-me out there, so much speed and snow and tree and mountain and I can't contain the joy that comes from knowing that. Knowing that somehow, despite all odds, I exist and I can see and hear and taste and smell and above all else I can feel. Feel speed and joy and exhilaration and cold and the grin on my face. When I forget that I can't, for a little while, I feel like I can fly.

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