Lana feels

Breakfast with Cesca today. This meant getting up and moving and walking a few miles, which was good for the nervous energy. Seeing her was a relief. I try not to think the things that create the need for relief, but sometimes it's hard. Three weeks without seeing, hardly talking to, my best friend, make me uneasy even when I know I haven't any reason to be.

Yesterday got much better when I left the computer lab. I had dinner with friends, then went back to my room and read everything from Oscar Wilde to the Watchers Guide to Mary Oliver poems. I copied out Wild Geese and taped it to my door because it makes my spine tingle. And then I wrote in my other diary, about the fact that if I'm going to find a place that will be a good fit I'm going to have to decide what shape I am. When I went to bed I was calm, which is important. Today is beautiful and warm and I think a month isn't such a terribly long time after all.