Lana feels

La la la... Not updating... Not really unpacking... Doing approximately nothing. Today I decided driver's ed was just not worth my time, and didn't go, but I did go running. Running in daylight - this is new and different and was way scarier than it should've been. I'm just in a rambly mood. Talking to Josh for the first time since we said goodbye at senior party - that was so much less than I wanted it to be. I don't know what I was expecting, but it wasn't that. I wanted something a little less... drunken. For my final goodbyes to three years worth of much-loved friends. And then Amy emailed, to tell me to celebrate new beginnings instead of mourn the end. Of all things. What do you say to someone, after everything we put each other through and then years of not talking? I think I said something along the lines of "polite small talk, polite small talk, nice to hear from you." Which it was, I suppose, just really unexpected. I didn't know she had any clue what the URL to this thing is, for starters, and just... Messages from unexpected quarters should be paid attention to, I suppose. And I am joyous about everything that starts as of Saturday, but there is CRMS sadness. Friends and mountains and not nearly as many regrets as I was afraid there would be. I don't regret not becoming a star athlete, or not killing myself over grades, or even not taking enough chances. I did what I could do, and for once that seems to have been enough. Next page.