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Lana feelsThe current mood of xengirl at www.imood.com

This has been the most kick-ass weekend in a really long time. Friday, Lila, Katie, Mandy and I, and some guys, went to a bar place kind of thing to play pool with Gordo (it was a weekend activity thingy), and Lila taught me how to play foozball so I can get Josh to keep teaching me, and the others played pool. She kicked my ass about a million and twelve times, but I won once! Which is a start... Then, when we got back, Lila, Katie and I went to the auto repair place, or more acurately behind it, and I discovered just how possible it is to smoke up using an apple with a couple of holes in it as a pipe. The things we do... And it was amazing. We did this at about 10:45, got back to the dorm for dorm check by 11, sat in Lila's room giggling and being incoherent and playing Sims until Katie's mom came and took her away. Then Lila and I sat in her room, her playing Sims and me watching and just sort of being really high until 1:00, and pretty much exactly at 1:00, we crashed. We went from, ooooh, giggle, grin, incoherency, to "must. sleep. going. to pass. out." So we went to sleep. Then Saturday, we got up and went snowboarding all day with Katie. It was so much fun! I'm really beginning to know how to do this, and on our last run down I didn't fall once, or collide with any walls, or anything like that. Just went zoom, zoom, zoooom!!! Down hills and dales and more hills. It's so much fun! Then when we got back, Katie went home and Lila and I hung out in the common room watching movies for a while, then went and sat in the bathroom, then in her room. Danielle came in at some point, drunk off her ass to the point where I had to buckle her belt for her, and sat in Lila's rom with us and read Franny and Zooey somewhat incoherently, and life was good. And we showed Lila how to make a soda-can pipe, but didn't use it. And then at around 12:15, Lila tried to go to sleep, but Danielle picked right then to roll herself over (about the only motion she could manage unaided) onto me, and start tickling me. If you know me, you know that me being tickled results in screeching, kicking, general flailing of limbs, and assorted very bizarre noises. It's craziness. So then, when Lila turned the light back on and told Danielle to stop torturing me, Danielle had me half-carry her back to her room, then I went back to Lila's room and we lay there in the dark talking. About all sorts of things. It was great. We haven't had an actual talk in a really long time. And at some point, I told her she could read this. And we talked about trust. And trusting. And she said that she knew what I was so fiercly hiding anyhow, and probably had since November. And I said "oh" after a long pause in which my heart stopped beating. And she said, quite acurately, that she thought it was gone now. And I said "yes." and then we went to sleep. And then we got up, and she said I talked in my sleep, which is probably true, and we went to brunch. And now here I am.

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