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4:20 p.m.

Lana feelsThe current mood of xengirl at www.imood.com

I'm scared today. I'm excited, and happy, and kind of glowy, but I'm scared underneath it all. I'm scared of having Lila and Lada here. Mostly Lila, just because I've known Lada for years and she knows a lot about my family and can sympathize with most of it, and just 'cause she's Lada. Lila I've only known ever at school. I've talked to her on the phone once in my life. I've only known her at all for 11 months. At school, that's fine. Because we live together, and that brings about a bond much more quickly than your average friendship does. And even with the kind I've been in all the rest of my life before CRMS, 11 months really is a pretty long time. But I'm still nervous. She doesn't know my family, doesn't know my house, doesn't know the bits of me that aren't CRMS. And, then I think about it and I know it'll be okay. On an intellectual level. But I'm still nervous. 'Cause, after all, it's me. I get nervous about stuff like this. I think perhaps most people do. So, it will be all right, I suppose.

Eew. My ex-girlfriend just refered to herself as a cucumber. I have to go now.

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