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7:42 p.m.

Lana feelsThe current mood of xengirl at www.imood.com

Sometimes I think I should update before checking my buddy list. I generally have something to say when I log on here, but I invariably read the updated diaries on my buddy list before doing my own update. And then Lada, or Cesca, or whoever it is with the touching and thoughtful entry makes me think, and then I feel bad about posting about my New Years. That said, here goes with what I did for this one. And probably some other stuff, just to justify the little voice in my head that says I should remember to sometimes post the stuff that flows beneath the surface. I tend to go with hoping it shows through the rest.

New Years... I refuse to see anything deep and meaningful in the New Year. I used to make Resolutions, sometimes even write them down. Lists of things I was going to do in the New Year that were going to be altogether different and much improved over the things that I did in the Old Year. Then I would fail to follow through with them and I would get mad and then give up because I had Started The New Year Off Badly. And hence all was irrepareably lost. So now, I believe that the barrier between December and January is significant only in the same way that any other day is significant; you can change anything you say you can from one day to the next. Or you can Just Have Fun. Hopefully you can do both. So Em'ly came over, with a shoulder bag full of little bottles of various types of hard liquor. I borrowed a bottle of chardonnay from my parents. We got movies, watched the moon rise and be almost full and very beautiful. Drank and were merry. Had gingerbread and champagne and chardonnay and tequila and the distillate of fermented potatoes. Responsibly; she's the first friend I've ever drank with whose object in the matter was not getting drunk. That's the main reason I've never liked alcohol as much as weed; teenagers who drink tend to drink to get drunk. The kind of drunk where you're stumbling around, being obnoxious and stupid and kissing random people, and wake up the next morning with a roaring headache. We did none of that. We got pleasantly toasted, and stayed up until 6:30 in the morning talking about absolutely everything. Families and children and childbirth and adoption and being gay and straight and bi and sexuality and sex and boys and girls and people and life and airplanes and events and death and cloning. Then we went to sleep. Woke up. Made pancakes. Watched some more movies. I say this; Halle Berr(e/y/e), in Bulworth, is hot. The girl who plays the higher being in The Fifth Element is as well. Bruce Willis is not. The blue alien woman was just cool, though I was less fond of the aquamarine gut fluid. It was a good night, a good day, and I really like Em'ly. Good friends, good time, good drinks. Good life. Happy New Year.

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