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Lana feelsThe current mood of xengirl at www.imood.com

I'm glad the week's over. I am way too worried about everything else to be dealing with mundane school. I mean, between the debate over how I feel towards the Imp, and whether or not I'm going to let her read this, and Cesca becoming such a hype and telling me not to be such a mother, and Cesca and Danielle fighting, and Danielle's issues with, well, everything she's having issues with, and Mandy-pandy stalking Lisa, and everybody being sick, I just don't have time for homework! AND my room needs cleaning. It's just too much!!! So here I am to rant.

First of all, there's this thing with the Imp. See, the debate as to letting her read this was simpler when I knew how I felt about her. Now, I still care about her, and I still think she's gorgeous, and there're still moments when we're together and I'm all wowed, but they're fewer and further between as time goes on. But I don't really know. Cause that's just how my crushes go. They waver. So I dunno. And also, there's this guy who goes here who's kind of cute, and really nice, and who Danielle says was flirting with me last night. I don't really know how to flirt, but I tried talking and laughing more. And he talked and laughed in return. And it was good. And it's happening again! Both him and this guy I liked a while back are in here and we're all talking and it's nice. I know it doesn't sound like such a big deal but I'm not good at talking to guys so it is. So I just don't know what to think of this entire Imp situation. I may just let her read it and to hell with the world.

that's what I'm talking about!" all jovial and loud and laughing and all, well, hype-y. And she just doesn't see it, and that's the worst sign of all. Because I've seen this so many times, the "I'll only do it once" turn into "once or twice a year" turn into "yeah, that's what I want!" and brushing off the worry and all. And I never tried, in Chicago, to help, but I care too much about my friends here, and about her, to just let it be. Too much.

And then there's Mandy-pandy and Lisa. My personal opinion is, Mandy's got a much-suppressed crush on Lisa. See, Mandy's very, very innocent. Very, very repressed. She's Native American, grew up on a reservation, very shy, very repressed, very innocent. So the basics of her thing with/for Lisa is, she stalks her. Goes into her house when she's not there to look around. Goes outside at night to watch her through her windows. Grabs me and gets freaked out whenever she walks into the room. It's complicated. I'm bored now. Done.

Oh, no, I'm not. The guy I mentioned up the page a bit? We were all talking and laughing and yay!

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