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12:24 p.m.

Lana feelsThe current mood of xengirl at www.imood.com

Creepy. The only way to describe it. To go to the movies with Megan and turn around on some bizarre intuitive feeling and there she is, in El Jebel though she certainly did not ride the movie bus. Framed in the door, the sunlight shining behind her and around her but she is a cut-out in the middle. And I look at her face and she's sticking out her tongue and as soon as she sees me look she turns around and stalks off. I follow her but she won't turn around and Megan looks confused but takes my arm and we go into the theatre. And watch the stupid movie and I realize at the end that we're holding hands. Splendid. All I do is worry. She's talking to everyone else, acting like herself, but she's punishing me for caring. Or something. She won't talk to me, not since Friday night when I called her on self-destruction and she ran away and cried and cried in the hallway by Kat's door. So I gave her tissues and left her alone as she fairly obviously wanted me to, and now she isn't speaking to me. I love this girl, she is near and dear to my heart, and when she makes it quite so very obvious as she did that night that something is wrong, I'm going to take her up on it and try to help. Why am I being punished for having the nerve to care about her?

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